Brigham's Big Day

So much has happened since my last post!!!! I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy that you have ever seen last Friday, Sept. 17^th at 2 am!!! His name is Brigham Michael Kopp, and he was born weighing 5 lbs, 14 oz and 18 ¾ inches long.  What an amazing journey that it has been!!!!!!  He wasn’t supposed to be born until October the 6^th, but since my blood pressure started to rise the Dr.’s felt it was wise to induce labor and get him out a wee bit early.  So, they had me come in at 6:30 on Thursday the 16^th.  I was nervous, but I felt prepared….Well, as prepared as you can be for the mammoth undertakeing that lied ahead of me.  I chuckled with the nurse that took me to my delivery room that I felt like I was “walkin the green mile”….I checked in and put on my pretty hospital gown that I had brought with me. It made me feel a little more comfortable to be covered and feel pulled together.  I was the starlet with the leading role, already in costume and waiting for my cue.  They strapped me up with monitors to keep track of my contractions and Brigham’s heartbeat. Hearing it was a bit comforting to me…I knew that soon I would get to meet the owner of that heart, and I was giddy with anticipation.  Check the clock: The time was about 7:30 pm when Dr. Hartman came in to start the Cervadil.  The goal was to let that sit inside and let it ripen my cervix overnight until about 4:30 am when they were going to start the Pitocin.  At that time, I was only dialated to a 1.  So the waiting game begins….. I almost immediately started to get “crampy”. I was thinking, “YUCK!!!! I remember this feeling…..Oh man, I wish they would wait until the morning to do this, I will never get any sleep tonight”  So Seth and I start a movie…We watch Clash of the Titans.  We wait some more…..I feel things getting stronger as the movie plays.  I tell the nurse around 9 that I am feeling really crampy and can I get a Motrin or something. She says no L She suggests that I take an Ambien to sleep because I am allowed that, and it will help. I am doubtful. She tells me to think about it, and then leaves.  Boooooooo. I want something for my pain please. Around this time, I have to use the bathroom, only to find that the Cervadil fell out. Oooppps.  What now I ask the nurse??? She talks to the Dr. and they say they will just leave it out and do the pitocin in the morning as planned.  SHEW!!!!!! I feel like I have just dodged a bullet!!!!! HAHA!!!!!! Now, surely I will stop cramping up and get some sleep!!!!!!!! No such luck……Around 10ish, she comes back, I told her I will take the stupid Ambien…still doubtful that it will make me sleep.  How would you go to sleep if someone keep hitting your finger with a hammer every minute??  She asks me what my pain is on a scale from 1 to 10….I am glancing back at the contraction monitor and seeing that it has barely made it over 25, (the highest contraction being at 100)…I am trying not to be a wuss here.  I sheepishly say it’s about a 4 or 5.  So I take the Ambien and wait for it to work miracles……no such luck.  Another hour passes by, it’s now 11pm.  Things on the contraction monitor are still not showing much progress…..I feel differently though!!!! These things HURT!!!! I tell Seth that I am really uncomfortable, and I must be getting too old for this crap because it is way too early for me to be in this much pain!!!!! He starts my meditation music and I just try to relax at this point.  The nurse comes back and I am still awake.  She says “No luck, huh?” No lady, I am still awake. Take your ghetto sleeping pill and shove it.  At this point I am wavering on my no narcotics stance.  Seth and the nurse are both trying to convince me that I need my rest.  It would probably help they say…. I hated being given the Stadol crap when I was in labor with Jaxon. It makes you delirious….high as a kite delirious, but still in pain.  Ugggghhh. I HATE that feeling. I hate the lack of control you have over your mental state.  However, my allegiance is wavering and the pain makes me change my mind….OK, I sigh….just go ahead and give it to me (disappointment in my voice)….I would really rather not, but I’m SO stinking uncomfortable!!!!!!!  My Nurse says she needs to check my cervix to see how far I am dilated…I’m now a three she says. Great!!!!!! Your progressing nicely!!!!! ……Here is me..yay.  I should be more. She then administers the Stadol drug from LaLa land.  I immediately start imagining unicorns and dancing wedges of cheese……I am still dumbfounded that people actually LIKE this feeling.  UGGGGHHHHH!!!!!  I am trying to keep my composure here. I do my best not to talk to anyone, because I know I will start random conversations about underwater basket weaving and how much I do not like Tofu.  At this stage things get a little hazy………………………………………..I am in a drug induced awake/ delirious sleepy state where I am still feeling like crap, but I am kind of sleeping for 10 minute spots and then waking up again…… So around 12:30 am I am awake again…..Seth is passed out on the couch. I am still in pain. At least I got a crazy nap with crazy dreams……I sit there for a bit, and eventually wake Seth up around 1ish. I tell him that I am going to hurt someone.  I need the drugs again!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am angry because it is still so early in this process and I am in so much pain!!!!!!! I reiterate that I am possibly too old for this crap because I don’t remember it being this painful so early on with the last two.  I am watching the contraction monitor….it is really doing a number on my ego to see the stupid line only go to about 35-40…..I think to myself, you have got to be kidding me here.  I am now panting LOUDLY….heeeee heeeee heeeeeee……..Hoooooo hoooooo hooooooooooooo. I am trying to be tough, but my resolve is going fast…..Whatever that stupid monitor is saying; these things are coming like every 30 seconds… Nurse Lady!!!!!!!!!!!! I need something NOW!!!!!!!! I would like my epidural, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So they call the anesthesiologist.   I feel my water break while I am sitting there waiting….. It is approximately 1:45 a.m. when he comes in….I am thanking Jesus.  At this point I am in SO much pain that I am weaving a tapestry of obscenities……not cursing mind you, but I am talking to Jesus and praying that he will help me……. The anesthesiologist is asking me if I will be able to sit still long enough for him to work his magic…I am bound and determined to try.  I swing my legs over the bed to sit up and try to let him. The nurse is in front of me and I am wanting to shoot myself, I look into her eyes and plead for her with a desperateness I am sure she has not seen before.  Here is what the conversation sounded like…..Me “ Please, please!!!!!! I need you to cut him out…I am serious…I am going to die.” Nurse “You are gonna do this, you are fine!!!!! You are strong!!!!” Me “Oh MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! This pain is going to kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You gotta DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!....The pressure!!!!! I have to push….It HURTS SO BAD!! “ Nurse “NO!!!!! You can’t push yet, your going to rip your cervix….your not ready to push”  Me….”Oh, I am going to push, I can’t help it!!!!!!!”                  Now at this time, you have to imagine this nurse looking at the contraction monitor and it barely reading 50. She was probably looking at me thinking this chick is losing it, what a psycho.  I am sure she thought I was a total wuss…… Me” I need to stand up…this pressure hurts so bad, I can’t sit down….” Nurse, “NO, you can’t get up, you need to stay in the bed….go ahead and lay down again”  All the while the anesthesiologist is just standing there watching this misery unfold.  I am sure that he was thinking I was a loon as well.    At this point all I could think to do was push, the pressure was so mind numbing that I couldn’t NOT do it….My body was taking over and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I swing my legs back into the bed and put my hand “down there” only to feel a head crowning….I am pretty sure I said something to that effect.  I felt like I had to push again and so I did…..and out he came.  With one push.  The nurse that had just walked in the door from hearing all of the commotion said, “We have a baby!!!!!” I am like “OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!”    She immediately picked him up off of the bed and set him on my stomach. And there I was face to face with this slimy little boy.   It all happened SO FAST, everyone was stunned.  There were hands everywhere, rubbing him off…clamping things…..I was delirious as to what just happened. Seth cut the cord, but I don’t remember it.  I was so in shock at this point.   No one expected him to come that fast……Not even Dr. Hartman, who didn’t make it there in time.    So there I was, no pain meds…no epidural….no Dr……..they didn’t even have enough time to break the bed apart. He was pushed out right there on the mattress.  About 10 minutes later, Dr. Hartman comes walking in, looking kind of dejected that he wasn’t needed. He delivered the placenta…lol.  I heard he was disappointed.  From there, was a lot of scurrying of nurses and people taking care of Brig, measuring and doing his footprints….taking blood and all of that stuff.  I had Seth take pictures of it all.  I am still in awe with how fast it all happened when things started to get crazy.  I blame that stupid monitor for not acknowledging my pain thankyouverymuch. Because had it read my contractions right and I knew that I was in full blown labor, I would have asked for my epidural earlier and not second guessed my pain tolerance.  But now I can say that I am part of that “natural childbirth” club.  Whatever that may mean.  I think they forgot to give me my medal at the hospital.